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Overview of Lesbian and Gay Parenting, Adoption
and Foster Care
The last decade has seen a sharp rise in the number of lesbians and gay men forming their own
families through adoption, foster care, artificial insemination and other means. Researchers
estimate that the total number of children nationwide living with at least one gay parent ranges from
six to fourteen million.
At the same time, the United States generally, and the State of Utah in particular, are facing a
critical shortage of adoptive and foster parents. As a result, hundreds of thousands of children in
this country, and thousands here in Utah, are without permanent homes. These children languish
for months, even years, within state foster care systems that lack qualified foster parents and are
frequently riddled with other problems. Here in Utah, the foster care system has done such a poor
job of caring for children that it has been under federal court supervision.
Legal and Policy Overview of Lesbian and Gay Parenting
Many states have moved to safeguard the interests of children with gay or lesbian parents. For
example, at least twenty-one states have granted second-parent adoptions to lesbian and gay
couples, ensuring that their children can enjoy the benefits of having two legal parents, especially if
one of the parents dies or becomes incapacitated. Earlier this year, the New Hampshire legislature
repealed its fifteen-year old ban on lesbian and gay adoption, after hearing extensive testimony from
children’s advocates that the policy was misguided.
Recognizing that lesbians and gay men can be good parents, the vast majority of states no longer
deny custody or visitation to a person based on sexual orientation. State agencies and courts now
apply a "best interest of the child" standard to decide these cases. Under this approach, a person’s
sexual orientation cannot be the basis for ending or limiting parent-child relationships unless it is
demonstrated that it causes harm to a child -- a claim that credible social science research simply
does not support.
Nonetheless, a few states -- relying on myths and stereotypes -- have used a parent’s sexual
orientation to deny custody, adoption, visitation and foster care. Florida remains the only state with
a law that expressly bars lesbians and gay men from ever adopting children. The ACLU is
challenging that law in a suit filed in May of this year. Arkansas, like Utah, passed an
administrative policy last year prohibiting lesbians, gay men, and those who live with them from
serving as foster parents. The ACLU is also challenging the Arkansas policy. Thus Utah joins a
distinct minority of states that are out of step with national standards and practices in this field, as
defined by groups such as the Child Welfare League of America (click here to find out what the
experts have to say about gay and lesbian adoption).
Research Overview of Lesbian and Gay Parenting
Research to date has reached an unequivocal conclusion about gay parenting: the children of
lesbian and gay parents grow up as successfully as the children of heterosexual parents. In fact,
not a single study has found the children of lesbian or gay parents to be disadvantaged because of
their parents’ sexual orientation. Other key findings include:
There is no evidence to suggest that lesbians and gay men are unfit to be parents.
Home environments with lesbian and gay parents are as likely to successfully support a
child’s development as those with heterosexual parents.
Good parenting is not influenced by sexual orientation. Rather, it is influenced most
profoundly by a parent’s ability to create a loving and nurturing home -- an ability that does
not depend on whether a parent is gay or straight.
There is no evidence to suggest that the children of lesbian and gay parents are less
intelligent, suffer from more problems, are less popular, or have lower self-esteem than
children of heterosexual parents.
The children of lesbian and gay parents grow up as happy, healthy and well-adjusted as the
children of heterosexual parents.
A Crisis in Adoption and Foster Care
Right now there is a critical shortage of adoptive and foster parents in the United States. As a
result, many children have no permanent homes, while others are forced to survive in an endless
series of substandard foster homes. It is estimated that there are 500,000 children in foster care
nationally, and 100,000 need to be adopted. [2] But last year there were qualified adoptive parents
available for only 20,000 of these children. [3] In Utah, notwithstanding efforts to increase the number
of placements, the situation has deteriorated, from approximately 3 children for every qualified
home in 1995 to more than 4 children for every home in 1998. Many of these children have
historically been viewed as "unadoptable" because they are not healthy white infants. Instead, they
are often minority children and/or adolescents, many with significant health problems. [4]
There is much evidence documenting the serious damage suffered by children without permanent
homes who are placed in substandard foster homes. Children frequently become victims of the
"foster care shuffle," in which they are moved from temporary home to temporary home. A child
stuck in permanent foster care can live in 20 or more homes by the time she reaches 18. It is not
surprising, therefore, that long-term foster care is associated with increased emotional problems,
delinquency, substance abuse and academic problems. [5]
In order to reach out and find more and better parents for children without homes, adoption and
foster care policies have become increasingly inclusive over the past two decades. While adoption
and foster care were once viewed as services offered to infertile, middle-class, largely white couples
seeking healthy same-race infants, these policies have modernized. In the past two decades, child
welfare agencies have changed their policies to make adoption and foster care possible for a much
broader range of adults, including minority families, older individuals, families who already have
children, single parents (male and female), individuals with physical disabilities, and families across
a broad economic range. These changes have often been controversial at the outset. According to
the CWLA, "at one time or another, the inclusion of each of these groups has caused controversy.
Many well-intended individuals vigorously opposed including each new group as potential adopters
and voiced concern that standards were being lowered in a way that could forever damage the field
of adoption." [6]
As a result of the increased inclusiveness of modern adoption and foster care policies, however,
thousands of children now have homes with qualified parents.
Myths vs. Facts
Myth:
The only acceptable home for a child is one with a mother and father who are married to each
other.
Fact:
Children without homes do not have the option of choosing between a married mother and father or
some other type of parent(s). These children have neither a mother nor a father, married or
unmarried. There simply are not enough married mothers and fathers who are interested in adoption
and foster care. Last year only 20,000 of the 100,000 foster children in need of adoption were
adopted, including children adopted by single people as well as married couples. Our adoption and
foster care policies must deal with reality, or these children will never have stable and loving homes.
Myth:
Children need a mother and a father to have proper male and female role models.
Fact:
Children without homes have neither a mother nor a father as role models. And children get their
role models from many places besides their parents. These include grandparents, aunts and
uncles, teachers, friends, and neighbors. In a case-by-case evaluation, trained professionals can
ensure that the child to be adopted or placed in foster care is moving into an environment with
adequate role models of all types.
Myth:
Gays and lesbians don”t have stable relationships and don”t know how to be good parents.
Fact:
Like other adults in this country, the majority of lesbians and gay men are in stable committed
relationships. [7] Of course some of these relationships have problems, as do some heterosexual
relationships. The adoption and foster care screening process is very rigorous, including extensive
home visits and interviews of prospective parents. It is designed to screen out those individuals who
are not qualified to adopt or be foster parents, for whatever reason. All of the evidence shows that
lesbians and gay men can and do make good parents. The American Psychological Association, in
a recent report reviewing the research, observed that "not a single study has found children of gay
or lesbian parents to be disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual
parents," and concluded that "home environments provided by gay and lesbian parents are as likely
as those provided by heterosexual parents to support and enable children’s psychosocial growth." [8]
That is why the Child Welfare League of America, the nation’s oldest children’s advocacy
organization, and the North American Council on Adoptable Children say that gays and lesbians
seeking to adopt should be evaluated just like other adoptive applicants.
Myth:
Children raised by gay or lesbian parents are more likely to grow up gay themselves.
Fact:
All of the available evidence demonstrates that the sexual orientation of parents has no impact on
the sexual orientation of their children and that children of lesbian and gay parents are no more
likely than any other child to grow up to be gay. [9] There is some evidence that children of gays and
lesbians are more tolerant of diversity, but this is certainly not a disadvantage. Of course, some
children of lesbians and gay men will grow up to be gay, as will some children of heterosexual
parents. These children will have the added advantage of being raised by parents who are
supportive and accepting in a world that can sometimes be hostile.
Myth:
Children who are raised by lesbian or gay parents will be subjected to harassment and will be
rejected by their peers.
Fact:
Children make fun of other children for all kinds of reasons: for being too short or too tall, for being
too thin or too fat, for being of a different race or religion or speaking a different language. Children
show remarkable resiliency, especially if they are provided with a stable and loving home
environment. Children in foster care can face tremendous abuse from their peers for being
parentless. These children often internalize that abuse, and often feel unwanted. Unfortunately, they
do not have the emotional support of a loving permanent family to help them through these difficult
times.
Myth:
Lesbians and gay men are more likely to molest children.
Fact:
There is no connection between homosexuality and pedophilia. All of the legitimate scientific
evidence shows that. Sexual orientation, whether heterosexual or homosexual, is an adult sexual
attraction to others. Pedophilia, on the other hand, is an adult sexual attraction to children. Ninety
percent of child abuse is committed by heterosexual men. In one study of 269 cases of child
sexual abuse, only two offenders were gay or lesbian. Of the cases studied involving molestation of
a boy by a man, 74 percent of the men were or had been in a heterosexual relationship with the
boy’s mother or another female relative. The study concluded that "a child’s risk of being molested
by his or her relative’s heterosexual partner is over 100 times greater than by someone who might
be identifiable as being homosexual, lesbian, or bisexual." [10]
Myth:
Children raised by lesbians and gay men will be brought up in an "immoral" environment.
Fact:
There are all kinds of disagreements in this country about what is moral and what is immoral.
Some people may think raising children without religion is immoral, yet atheists are allowed to
adopt and be foster parents. Some people think drinking and gambling are immoral, but these
things don”t disqualify someone from being evaluated as an adoptive or foster parent. If we
eliminated all of the people who could possibly be considered "immoral," we would have almost no
parents left to adopt and provide foster care. That can”t be the right solution. What we can probably
all agree on is that it is immoral to leave children without homes when there are qualified parents
waiting to raise them. And that is what many gays and lesbians can do.
NOTES:
1. See American Psychological Association. Lesbian and Gay Parenting: A Resource for
Psychologists, District of Columbia, 1995; Child Welfare League of America, Issues in Gay and
Lesbian Adoption: Proceedings of the Fourth Annual Peirce-Warwick Adoption Symposium, District
of Columbia, 1995.
2. Petit, M. & Curtis, P., Child Abuse and Neglect: A Look at the States, 1997 CWLA Stat Book,
Child Welfare League of America, Washington, D.C., 1997, p. 72, 124.
3. Petit, supra note 2.
4. Sokoloff, B., "Antecedents of American Adoption," The Future of Children. Vol. 3, No. 1 (1993),
pp. 17-26; Cole, E. & Donley, K., "History, Values, and Placement Policy Issues In Adoption," in
The Psychology of Adoption. Eds. David Brodzinsky & Marshall Schecter, (New York: Oxford
University Press, 1990), pp. 273-294.
5. Eagle, R., "The Separation Experience of Children in Long Term Care: Theory, Resources, and
Implications for Practice," The American Journal of Orthopsychiatry. Vol. 64, pp. 421-434 (1994);
Robert, G., et al., "A Foster Care Resource Agenda For the Ô90’s," Child Welfare Vol. LXXIII, No.
5, pp. 525-552 (1994).
6. Issues In Gay And Lesbian Adoption, Child Welfare League of America, Washington, D.C.,
1995, p.2.
7. Overlooked Opinions, "The Gay Market," Chicago, January 1992.
8. American Psychological Association, Lesbian And Gay Parenting: A Resource For
Psychologists (1995).
9. See Bailey, J.M., Bobrow, D., Wolfe, M. & Mikach, S. (1995), Sexual orientation of adult sons of
gay fathers, Developmental Psychology, 31, 124-129; Bozett, F.W. (1987). Children of gay fathers,
F.W. Bozett (Ed.), Gay and Lesbian Parents (pp. 39-57), New York: Praeger; Gottman, J.S.
(1991), Children of gay and lesbian parents, F.W. Bozett & M.B. Sussman, (Eds.), Homosexuality
and Family Relations (pp. 177-196), New York: Harrington Park Press; Golombok, S., Spencer, A.,
& Rutter, M. (1983), Children in lesbian and single-parent households: psychosexual and
psychiatric appraisal, Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 24, 551-572; Green, R. (1978),
Sexual identity of 37 children raised by homosexual or transsexual parents, American Journal of
Psychiatry, 135, 692-697; Huggins, S.L., (1989) A comparative study of self-esteem of adolescent
children of divorced lesbian mothers and divorced heterosexual mothers, F. W. Bozett (Ed.),
Homosexuality and the Family (pp. 123-135), New York: Harrington Park Press; Miller, B. (1979),
Gay fathers and their children, The Family Coordinator, 28, 544-52; Paul, J.P. (1986).
10. Carole Jenny, et al., Are Children at Risk for Sexual Abuse by Homosexuals?, Pediatrics, Vol.
94, No. 1 (1994); see also David Newton, Homosexual Behavior and Child Molestation: A Review of
the Evidence, Adolescence, Vol. XIII, No. 49 at 40 (1978) ("A review of the available research on
pedophilia provides no basis for associating child molestation with homosexual behavior.")
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